Leave the Shore: Paddling out past Anxiety

Fear is loud, persuasive, and weirdly logical when it’s talking you out of the very things that would help you grow. Josh is joined by Kayla for a candid, funny, and surprisingly deep conversation about fear, anxiety, and the kind of pressure that hits teens hardest: rejection, embarrassment, and getting labeled by other people. We start with the fear of being outcast and why it can feel so crippling even when you can “find your people” online, then we pull that thread into what fear does to your choices day after day. 

From there we get practical through stories. Surfing big waves with a lot of fear in the background. Paddleboarding in Florida water where you can’t see the bottom and your mind fills in the blanks with gators and worst-case scenarios. Those moments expose what anxiety often is: a stack of scary outcomes plus a belief that you cannot handle them. We also talk parenting and why kids need safe, guided chances to face hard things now, because life won’t always offer a soft landing later. 

We take a Christian perspective on overcoming fear by reframing faith as more than agreement. Faith becomes movement: “because I believe, I will.” Fear becomes the opposite: “because I don’t believe, I won’t.” That shift changes how you handle stage fright, social pressure, fear of conflict, and fear of being seen as “that Christian.” If you want tools for overcoming fear, reducing anxiety, and building courage in everyday life, this one will meet you where you are. 

Subscribe, share this with someone who’s been stuck, and leave a review. Then message us what fear you’re tackling in the next two weeks and how you pushed through it.

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Transcript

Fear And Anxiety Opening

Josh 0:00

Do you struggle with fear? Anxiety? Want to know how to overcome it? This episode for you.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Take all that information. Yeah, all in brain.

Josh 0:28

Alright, on this episode, I do not have Debbie with me. She is pre-occupied at the time. I'm sorry. I know this was supposed to come out yesterday. The co-host I have, it was really hard trying to schedule when they could make it, and I am putting all the blame on them because they deserve it. So today I am joined by not Debbie, but the next best closest thing to her.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Kayla.

Josh 0:59

So Kayla, would you call yourself a daddy's girl or a mama's girl?

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Or does it matter like As I grow up, I think I'm more of a daddy's girl.

Josh 1:06

Or does it matter like on the activity?

SPEAKER_00 1:08

It really depends on what we're doing. Because if we're doing anything outside, it's definitely you. If we're doing anything on the inside, it's mommy.

Josh 1:14

Or gossiping.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Or gossiping. I gossip with mommy a lot.

Josh 1:17

You like girls' nights better than watching fights, eating wings. Alright, so this episode, Kayla asked me a couple of weeks ago, hey, you know, Daddy, can I be on another episode? And I love having Kayla on because she brings just a different dynamic because obviously she's a child.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

A teenager.

Josh 1:40

Not a woman.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Okay.

Josh 1:42

Not a child, not yet a woman. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Adolescent.

Josh 1:45

Um, no, uh a young woman. I think we can call you that. I mean, if it was a hundred years ago, you'd be married with you know kids by now.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

That's true.

Josh 1:53

You are getting older.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Oh, oh, okay.

Surfing With Fear In The Background

Josh 1:55

So so she brings she brings a different like perspective, which is what we like, right? Because we want to give you real practical application. And I think the easiest way to do that, especially with your kids, is is by having someone closer to your kids' age than me on here. Um so the one thing I do want to talk about when it when it comes to Kayla, and and we're gonna get into fear, we're gonna get into anxiety, we're gonna get into all of those kind of things, but the one thing I really want to put this, like I want to frame everything with is this. If you know me, you know, like the outdoors is our passion.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Right.

Josh 2:32

Like we love being outside, we love hunting and fishing and camping. And when I was younger, much, much younger, many moons ago, I used to surf a lot. And Kayla, what, a a year or two years ago.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

A year ago.

Josh 2:50

So a year ago, Kayla decided, hey, I want to try surfing. And it really one caught me off guard because it was just like kind of out of the blue.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I'm good at it.

Josh 3:02

But two, yes, she she wound up being really good at it, and I will say it shocked me how quick you were to like once we got your board to go, hey, let's go, let's go surf. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Mommy says it's because I have no patience.

Josh 3:16

Now, you have no patience, but you do have a great deal of something else.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Uh curiosity.

Josh 3:22

Well, yes, you are very curious, but I already said it.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Oh crap.

Josh 3:26

What do you have a great deal of?

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Fear.

Josh 3:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Okay. Okay.

Why Rejection Feels So Dangerous

Josh 3:30

Which is what shocked me, like, on how quick Kayla was like, okay, let's go out, let's get in the big waves, let's I don't care about riptides and sharks and and all of this, and and let's go surf. Like that that did shock me because of all of that. So that's what I want to focus on. What are your greatest fears? And in fact, you don't even have to be like specific.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

The dark.

Josh 3:57

Like your generation. What are y'all's biggest fears? Speak for all people.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

For for the teens, for the people, for the youngins. For the youngins. I think our biggest fear is out being outcasted, rejected. Not like everybody else.

Josh 4:16

Alright. And I don't think that's something that's unique to your generation. I think that's every generation.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Right.

Josh 4:22

It just You know, even it, even you adults listening, you can look back throughout your life and think about all the stupid things you did to fit in. With people that, let's be honest, outside of being Facebook friends, you don't even talk to anymore.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Right.

Josh 4:36

And you and yet these were the people that you had to like impress and and make sure they liked you. Why?

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Cause you didn't want to be the weird kid who's always by themselves.

Josh 4:50

Why not? Because I'll tell you, as I've gotten older, I enjoy being the weird guy who Okay. I hear that how that sounded after I said it. I enjoy being the guy who spends time all by himself, or even with just mommy.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Right.

Josh 5:08

Like, as I've gotten older, I have really enjoyed solitude a lot more than I ever did when I was younger. You know, I was a fake extrovert growing up. But what is it about fear of being outcast? Because honestly, psychologists would tell you it goes back to this tribalism that is just ingrained into our DNA because a tribe meant safety and it meant food and it meant, you know, that that the elements aren't gonna kill you. The problem is I don't know how that. I can understand how fear can be in ingrained into our DNA, but I don't understand how like that specific thing could be ingrained into it. So what do you think? Why do you think now in 2026 people would have that fear? Because I mean, think about it. We got social media, you have like, you know, online games, you have like all of this stuff, how then is that fear so crippling?

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Cause if you're alone Hold on, wait, let me gather my thoughts. Being Because that means there could be something wrong with you. Like if nobody likes you.

Josh 6:20

Right, but that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

It's humiliating, embarrassing.

Josh 6:23

Like nowadays. See, like when I was growing up, you had to have people geographically close to you.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Right.

Josh 6:29

You know, that that were like you.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Right.

Josh 6:31

Right? So that was a lot harder because the pool is so much smaller. Where nowadays, like you could be like that person that's like, hey, I'm into Celtic folk music. And you can find a community, even if it's just online, you could find a community of people like that. Right. You know, where you're you're gonna and then you know what I've noticed as I've gotten older is definitely there's a festival for it somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Like there's one in Del Toda.

Josh 6:59

See?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

I'm like the twelfth, I think.

Josh 7:01

And I go, and that's that's what I mean. Like, so so when it comes to that fear, what makes that fear so crippling? Because I don't think it's something that's ingrained into us. I do think I do think it it is biblical, I think it's spiritual. You're supposed to be in community. Okay, why?

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Because that's how God made us to be in community with each other. That's just how we were made. That's how we're designed.

Josh 7:27

Discipline.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

That's how we were made. That's how we were just designed. Alright, split the different section.

Josh 7:32

Remember, you can move the mic to you.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Yes, I'm just up like this.

Josh 7:36

You know? So this fear exists. And some of you out there, this is what you live with every day. You just live with this fear. Fear of rejection. Um, you you purposely don't talk to other people because you know if you talk to them, like if they really knew the real you, you know, then you know they wouldn't like you very much. Right, right. You you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Yeah.

Faith Versus Fear Explained

Josh 8:02

And I go, and that leads to anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

A lot of it.

Paddleboarding With Gator Anxiety

Josh 8:06

Now, and this is what we tell people a lot here at Mission Scent. Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Like doubting that that God is in control, doubting Jesus is like that's not the opposite of faith. We think it is because we misunderstand this word faith is believe. And it's not just believing something is true. Because in James it says, even the demons believe and shudder. The demons know who Jesus is. When the man is at the tomb, you know, the man in the tombs, when Jesus shows up and and he has a legion of demons. So we're talking about thousands of demons that this man is possessed with. When Jesus shows up, Jesus doesn't even say anything. The demon goes, What do you have to do with us, Son of the Most High? So they know who Jesus is. It's more than just I believe this. It's faith is sitting here going, because I believe, right? So Kayla not only got a surfboard but got a paddleboard and and all of that. And one of Kayla's fears is alligators. We live in Florida. There's it the the the saying is the saying is if you put your foot in and it's wet, there's an alligator in it. Right? So what made you get on that paddleboard with Gabby and go, all right, let's paddle out.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

You go in if you don't do this, I'll take the paddleboard away.

Josh 9:34

So fear is a motivator to overcome fear.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Yeah.

Josh 9:38

Is this what you're afraid of more?

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Yes.

Josh 9:41

Alright, so what are other ways to overcome fear? Whether whether you're singing up on stage, you know, on a Sunday morning, or we're paddleboarding, or you're surfing, or or something along that. Because yes, you are full of fear. But I will say the one thing you do well is you still overcome that fear. For the most part. I mean, we haven't got to the night light yet, but No, I will never give that up.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

My whole life. Um I would say thinking about why you're doing it. Or like why you have to overcome this fear. What what you're So why?

Josh 10:16

Why do you have to overcome fear?

SPEAKER_00 10:17

I will say with worship for Jesus, praising Jesus. Or not for worship, for praise or like music or whatever.

Josh 10:25

Okay, but why do you have to overcome fear?

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Because fear is gonna lead you to not do anything.

Josh 10:30

Oh, fear of what?

SPEAKER_00 10:31

It's gonna lead you to not do anything.

Josh 10:33

It's gonna paralyze you, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Right.

Josh 10:35

You know, especially me. Yeah, faith is going because I believe I will. Fear is going because I don't believe, I won't. Ooh, that's quotable.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

That is quotable. We gotta someone write that down.

Josh 10:48

Fear is sitting here going, because I don't believe, I won't. So we get to the lake, you got your paddleboards paddled up or uh pumped up. What's going through your head as you're stepping into that water?

SPEAKER_00 11:02

I'm about to get out. I'm I'm gonna go back in the car, I'm just gonna sit there.

Josh 11:06

Why?

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Because I don't want to get attacked by a gator or like a bull shark or something.

Josh 11:12

Well, the bull shark is a lake.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Doesn't matter.

Josh 11:15

Like, I don't know how they would have got into a lake.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Still scares me.

Josh 11:18

Like it's not like the river.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

That's true.

Josh 11:20

But what what's going through your head? Like I'm I'm about to I'm about to get on this paddleboard. What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 11:25

I don't want anyone to think Gabby's more of a um man than me. Or like to disappoint you, I don't want to do that.

Josh 11:35

Right, but what was going through your head as far as um this is really scary.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

I don't want to do this. I did not understand what you were asking.

Josh 11:44

What's going through your head right now?

SPEAKER_00 11:46

A whole bunch of things.

Josh 11:50

Um yet nothing at all.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Try to get there. Um what was going through my head is it was it was scary. It was like I can't see the bottom.

Josh 12:00

Um is it different down different down in the keys?

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Yeah, because you the keys are clear. You can see anything that's in there. So if I'm getting attacked by something, at least I know it's coming. If I'm in that water and it's like brown and stuff, I can't see what's under there. There could be amoebas in there and I wouldn't know. So you would well I wouldn't know either way, but like there's more likely.

Josh 12:20

So you would rather see the attack coming.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yes. Even if I can't do anything to stop it, I would rather know.

Josh 12:25

Why?

SPEAKER_00 12:26

I can at least at that point be like, okay, this is what's about to happen. This is what's gonna come of it. I could die. And at least I know.

Josh 12:35

Okay. So so all of this is going through your head, yet you you gotta you even fell right when you were getting in.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

A couple times.

Josh 12:45

So what overcomes that? Like what was it that you ultimately settled on and went, alright, I'm just gonna push off. I'm gonna paddle out.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

Honestly?

Josh 12:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

You telling me to?

Josh 12:59

So had I not been there, had I not been like, hey, look, you got two choices. Um I'm taking the paddleboard or you're getting on the paddleboard, what would have happened?

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Um, unless Gabby started like taunting me or something, I probably would have gotten up and could you have seen Gabby paddling out a little bit and then making fun of you? Yeah. Yes, I could see that.

Josh 13:19

So and and if you're a parent and and you're hearing this, understand you should be putting your kids safely in positions where they have to get over fear, where they have to deal with that. Because life's gonna come at them, and if they don't know how you can you can take a drink. Life's gonna come at them, and if they don't know how to overcome fear safely with you, how do you expect them to overcome fear out there when you're not even around?

SPEAKER_00 13:52

I won't. Or I wouldn't.

Josh 13:54

And then what happens? You become paralyzed and and you never move forward in anything.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

I could have never ordered through a drive-thru.

Being Open About Faith Under Pressure

Josh 14:03

Let me get into my seats. And I go, but that that's what happens, and then and then you become stagnant because not because you lack ability or potential, but because you're afraid. Like I knew you were gonna be fine on that paddleboard, and I knew even if she went out there and was on the other side and fell off, I knew I would still be able to get to you. I knew I would still be able to, you know, fight off a gator. Like, I knew I would be able to do all of that, and therefore I went, hey, since you are considerably safe right now, you you need to go do. And and a lot of us, like when it comes to Jesus, it's the same thing. Like, you're afraid to be that weird Christian person, you're afraid to to be like labeled a certain kind of way because you're afraid of rejection, you're afraid of like all of the other things, and so you're like, I'm gonna just keep this on the inside and and not do anything. What?

SPEAKER_00 15:11

This little light of mine, that thing.

Josh 15:13

Yeah. I'm gonna let it shine, and I'm gonna let it shine for everyone to see. You know, that's Jesus in in Matthew, right, five. You know, you are the light of the world. You're meant to shine, you're meant to be seen, you're meant to show. The entire reason God chose Israel wasn't because Abram was so amazing. I mean, he's living in Ur, worshiping Nana, the the moon god. It wasn't like he was this like devoted disciple who who worked and did so well. God just went, hey, look, I'm gonna pick you, I'm gonna I'm gonna create a nation from you, and through which all nations will be blessed, Jesus. And then you're going to show others what it means to be my people. And what keeps us from doing that? Ultimately. Okay, first of all, this isn't a video, no one can see you nodding.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

I'm sorry. Well, I'm just I was talking to you.

Josh 16:13

What keeps you from doing that? You you, people your age, all because I I do see it more with people your age than necessarily people my age.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Um I I would say rejection, fear of rejection of somebody labeling you a certain way, of somebody looking at you a certain way.

Josh 16:32

Okay. Like what? Like DC Talk had, you know, Jesus freak.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Honestly, yeah. Like if I know I've had people tell me, um, even if I've done nothing just because I because I'm a Christian, oh, you think you're better than everybody or stuff like that. And I don't like I I find that stuff to be very um awkward to me. I don't like having that conversation, so I would rather just not.

Josh 17:02

Yeah, but you don't like conflict to begin with.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Not really, no. I would much rather just ignore it.

Josh 17:08

What about your brother?

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Oh, jail. Okay. That's a whole different story. I would say fear of conflict of having to confront and go, yeah, this is who I am. No, I'm not gonna be a good one. Yeah, taking that stand, right? Yeah, taking a stand.

Josh 17:22

Yeah, and it's only gonna get worse.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Yeah, I know.

Josh 17:30

But I mean, that's all of us. Like, think about relationships you miss out on. Think about things and experiences you miss out on because you're afraid.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Right.

Josh 17:41

You know, we were talking earlier in we just we went to Crystal River a couple of weeks ago to go swim with manatees. And and even though knowing they're called sea cows for a reason because they just sit there and graze on grass like cows. Big they're huge. And and getting in the water, there was a little even the baby six hundred pounds. It wasn't fear and the fact like I thought this thing was going to attack, but like if they accidentally, they accidentally roll into you, they accidentally, you know, hit you with their tail or something, they have a lot of power because they're moving twelve hundred pounds of of animal. It's the same thing like if you were going to a field with a bull, right, and you got a 3,000 pound bull, you know, it can hurt you not even on purpose.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

By like just slamming into you or something.

Josh 18:28

Yeah, not even our dog. Yeah, you know, little little porker, you know, overweight, 88 pound, you know, pound baby. But he gets to running and doesn't stop and then slams into you, it hurts.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

And I fall over.

Josh 18:43

And and it's sitting here going, we miss out on so much, not because of any other reason than we're afraid. Like, had and and you know, just to give you all a little story, like Debbie, the night before we went swimming with the manatees, was up all night and was just like sick to her stomach, and you know, because that's not the world she grew up in. It wasn't like, hey, let's go put on goggles and snorkels and jump in the water and act like fish. It was that stuff's dangerous and stay away from it. And so she was up all night, and then when we got done, she was just going on and on and on about how peaceful it was and how amazing it was, and and how awesome it was to watch, you know, the little one try to suffocate and drown Kayla. Right. The little baby, the little baby manatee. And I go and think about like, yeah, I'm sure if you were to stop and think through your life, there are things you know you missed out on because of fear. The question isn't, you know, you can't go back and change any of that. The question is what is faith? Faith is going because I believe I will do. So right now you can choose different. You can choose faith over fear. Yeah, you can't change this stuff from twenty years ago, but you can't change the stuff tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Not my fear is missing out on things on fear. Oh, FOMO is I give myself FOMO.

Josh 20:09

I give myself away. But I go, it it's again you have the ability to choose different through faith. Through going, yeah, like I'm scared, but I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Right.

The Two Week Challenge And CTA

Josh 20:28

And you don't understand how powerful that is. Like, tomorrow doesn't have to be like today because tomorrow you could choose different. Like, what is that one thing you've been putting off? What is that one thing you've been so scared to go do? And that's our challenge. You know what? That's it. I'm I'm gonna wrap up the episode now. That is our challenge. Until next episode, you got two weeks. What is that one thing that you've been putting off that you're like, I should have gone and done this? And go do it.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Does that include you?

Josh 21:01

Does that include me?

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Yeah.

Josh 21:04

I mean, I'm not immune to challenges, but hold him accountable. On the same hand, what is it that I'm afraid to go do?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

I don't know. I don't know, it could be something.

Josh 21:14

Because I I what?

SPEAKER_00 21:16

I I don't know. I don't know your internal turmoil.

Josh 21:21

Maybe I don't have fear. Might as well be Daredevil, the man without fear. Or without my only fear is honestly, my only fear is really is losing like my family.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Don't do that.

Josh 21:32

So I go unless I'm going out for milk this week, like you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Don't do that.

Josh 21:38

We got two weeks. Do something that's that scares you. Do something that you've been putting off because you're like, I can't I just can't for whatever reason bring myself up to do it. Hit us up on social media and let us know what it was that was your fear and how you overcame it. Um and don't forget to share the episode. So until next episode.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Uh we love you.

Josh 22:01

Have a good day.