Practically Christian Podcast

From Chaos To Clarity: Building Family SOPs

• Josh and Debbie

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Resolutions fade; systems stick. We kick off 2026 by trading wishful thinking for a practical playbook you can run at home, at work, and in your walk with Jesus. Drawing on years in construction, the military, law enforcement, and the classroom, we lay out how briefings, BOLOs, and standard operating procedures translate into calmer mornings, better decisions, and a family that runs on purpose instead of panic.

You’ll hear how simple if-then and when-then plans—borrowed from behavior strategies in education—prevent meltdowns and guide wise choices when stress spikes. We talk through a real hydroplane incident and why EVOC training mattered, showing how you do not rise to the occasion, you fall to your training. From there, we map out weekly rhythms that actually work: Sunday meal prep, shared calendars, visible priorities on the fridge, and bite-size budget huddles that fight debt and decision fatigue at the source.

Faith sits at the front, not the finish line. We make the case for prayer-first living and Sabbath as design, not luxury, and we show how planned rest and time outdoors lower anxiety while raising the emotional temperature of your whole home. If you want different, you must do different becomes more than a motto: it’s a checklist you can execute—identify your top three threats, write clear SOPs, keep them in sight, and invite accountability so the plan survives Monday. Ready to replace chaos with clarity and move from reactive to proactive?

Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs a calmer year, and leave a quick review telling us the first SOP you’ll put on your fridge.

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Josh:

Alright, you're good. Okie dokies. All right, and happy new year. Welcome to the first episode of Practically Christian Podcast of 2026.

Debbie:

Welcome.

Josh:

So as many of you know, some of you might not. Um, but before I started pastoring, before I started teaching, I was in construction. Um and I was in the military and I was on prior law enforcement. Yes. So so lots of things. Yeah, it was it was a long path to get to where I am. Um, but we want to kind of start taking a different direction here with Practically Christian Podcast, and and we want to do it in a way that's still going to take all that information you got all up in your brain and give you real practical application. But we're gonna do that from a practicality point of view.

Debbie:

Okay.

Josh:

Alright. Ow, that hurt.

Debbie:

That hurt me.

Josh:

No, my the wire on the headphones got caught in the chair and I went and turned my head and it did not feel good.

Debbie:

I'm sorry.

Josh:

So this first episode of 2026, we're going to take from a little more practicality way of this before we would start shift. When you were when I was a cop. You would go in the briefing room, like, you know, as long as it weren't like hot calls going on at the time. And a hot call is is a call that is live and it's in action. Yeah, it's happening like right now. You need to get to it. Um but what we would do is we would go in the briefing room and and you would kind of get, hey, here's what happened prior to coming on shift. So let's say your day shift, right? Okay, overnight on this street, this is what happened. So, you know, today, here's what we're gonna do, like based on what had happened the night. Like break-ins and stuff like that. Yeah, like like I went in one day and and there was one street where there was like 32 houses that all had car break-ins the night before.

Debbie:

Okay.

Josh:

So what you would do is I mean, it happens. So what you would do is you would plan your day out according to what had already happened. Okay. Right? And you know, we would get these what what are called bolos. Okay. It's funny because you watch a lot of cop shows. I don't know, your son's calling me. It'll be alright. You can answer the phone. Tell him we're we're in a podcast right now, what's going on? You're on Speaker Sun and we are recording a podcast right now. Are you okay? That's okay. Did you get I sent you money? Okay. Love you. Okay, that's on a podcast. I love you. Bye. So you watch a lot of cop shows, I don't know. Yes, I love cop shows. And and up north they're called APBs, but down here we call them bolos. That's an all points bulletin, right? Right. But down here we call it a bolo, be on the lookout for, right? So you would get these be on the lookout. Um, this is what was happening in your zone, this is like, you know, what was going on. Like, you didn't just spend all your time just driving around aimlessly. Right? You you came on and you went through a very specific here's what you should be doing with your time. Right. I don't even know why I printed you out notes. Um Well Again, as Why do I print notes for you? So most families for families. Yes, families. This is what we do, right? Well, we don't do this. No, no, no, that's what I mean. No, we don't start we don't start the year off or the day off or the month or the week off with a plan and go, hey, just in case this um I know you think it's rude to not look at someone when you're talking. Yeah. But understand you're talking away from the mind. Oh, I'm sorry. There you go. But like in the classroom, um, it's I we have a if this if then and a when then. So if this happens, then this is gonna happen. When this happens, then this is gonna happen. So especially like when we were in the ESE classroom, um, that's actually where I learned it, where we had to monitor behaviors and things like that when we had kids that came in with behavioral issues. And so before the day started, my tea assistant and I we would sit and talk about okay, if so and so does this today, then we're gonna handle it this way because what we did yesterday didn't work. So we would we would kind of go through different scenarios that could happen. So if it happened, then we knew what we were going to do, which I brought that over pretty much in in everything I do in the classroom, and even if I'm training other teachers, if this, then this. When the and then there are things that you go, this is going to happen. So when this happens, you need to do this. Right. Um, so we plan, um, kind of plan, organize, and execute. Um Most people don't do that, they just jump in the car and just go, you know, and something pops up and it's like, oh no, we have to do something about this. Well, even even at the house, right? Even as a family. Right. That's what I'm saying. Most families don't do anything prescriptive. Right. We respond to calls. We we are not proactive in what we do. We're not proactive, we're reactive. And then that is where you find a lot of stress, strain, chaos, um, breakdown of the family, breakdown of communications. Um but you hit the nail on the head with the stress. Oh, yeah. I mean, if you reactive life will always cause more stress than proactive life. Right. And just a little bit of planning ahead of time. Even if you think about like when I was at home with the kids when they were little, before I would go anywhere, one, we were so poor that I had to plan every single scenario. All right, if they if I need extra diapers, okay, let me pack extra diapers. Okay, if they get hungry, I'm not gonna be able to take them to go get something to eat because we didn't have the money for it. So I packed extra snacks and extra food and things to take with me in case those scenarios came up. Sometimes I came home with nothing left in the bag, and then some days they came home with a lot of extra and left over, which was fine. But um if I didn't plan and I was rushing out the door, those days were just full of chaos and stress. And so I always made sure most 99% of the time, the night before, I would pack everything in the bag that I needed to take with me. Right. And then I used to I'm still a little forgetful, but I was super duper forgetful at the time. And I would leave sticky notes everywhere, grab cooler, grab ice pack, just to make sure I had everything I needed. Well, and the other thing that it reminds me of, or the other like, and this just popped, this isn't in the so show note, but um is begin with the end in mind, be proactive. Right. Like, you know, when you read through seven habits of highly affected people, you see that these people have this one habit. Like, one, I have to know where I'm going, two, I have to be proactive in getting there. Right. Anytime, anytime you are reactive to things, anytime where you wait for something to happen and then respond to it, right, you are already starting from a You're in the danger zone. Yeah, you're already starting from a deficit. You're starting in the red. Right. It would be like if you were running a race and everyone took off and then they said go. Right. So now everyone already has a 10-yard head start on you, you're gonna have to run twice as fast now to catch up. And and unfortunately, that's where most of us find our lives. Right. Is just living in this chaos and living in this And it's it's they're so normal. Yeah, constantly reacting. It there's a discomfort when someone comes along and goes, hey, hey, hey, it doesn't have to be like this. And I mean, you and I have talked to different people and we've counseled different people that you gave the prescription to, you gave the hey, do this next time so that doesn't happen. Right. But they were so ingrained in that chaos, it was almost comfortable for them. But even if you look at it in in in Christian thought, right? Prayer, for instance. So right before we, you know, had right before we started recording, you were praying with um someone and and I walked in the room and you immediately stopped and and I was like, why would you do that? And you're like, I don't like praying in front of you. Prayer is always or not always, but for the most part in a Christian's life, a last resort. Right, not a not the first thing. Yes, it's I can't do this anymore. I'm out of options, I'm out of ideas. Right now, let me pray. Instead of prayer being the thing you start with, right, because something is going to happen. It's not that nothing will ever happen, but if you're like Well, that's what Jesus says in John 15. In this world, you will have trouble. Right. And and you know, people say we've got to stay prayed up, and I know it sounds kind of corny, but it's true because when you're in that frantic situation, when you're in that chaos, you're not gonna be like, oh my gosh, I don't know the words to say because I never pray. Right. You're gonna it's just gonna be a natural thing for you to pray. Right. And and I'm telling you, and like I said when I when I said earlier, you hit the nail on the head. Reactive living, reactive patrolling is a very, very stressful way to live. It's a dangerous game. You never know what call is gonna come out on the radio. Right. Right? You you could just be driving around and all of a sudden it's you know a robbery in progress or you know, a murder or you know, homicide here in Florida, but but it it's all of a sudden it's this you went from zero to sixty. Right. Or a hundred and sixty. But you and you, even as a dad, I mean, you would always go these horrific training things with the kids, waking them up in the middle of the night, fire, fire. Now, in advance, he had told them if there's ever a fire, this is what you need to do. Um, so he tested it, you know, Josh would test it, and poor kids would be it'd be two o'clock in the morning, and you have um a four-year-old and two two-year-olds, or a four-year-old, two four-year-olds, and a six-year-old climbing out the front window and then going to our meeting place or tornado, tornado, hurricane, whatever the case might be. Well, hurricane, not so much. But tornado. But we knew that if there was an emergency, they would go back to their lowest level of training, which is what you always always and then because if you have no training, you go back to nothing. See, and that I think is an area that most people miss is you always go back in a stressful situation. Yeah. All right, so your cortisol's up, your your adrenaline's up, hearts race up, you're in that fight or flight, you're not stopping and logically thinking through. No. You are literally falling back to the lowest level of training you. It's gonna go back to instantly you're going on autopilot. And and so if you're not putting yourself in positions, if you're not training for that kind of stuff, then what's going to happen when that happens? Right. We got uh, you know, when we were going to Pensacola, right? Got into a really bad um car accident. Total the car. Yep, totaled the car. Um but our you know, one of our daughters, Kayla, like the one that was on a couple of weeks ago, um, you know, she we get done, and I mean she completely panicked, and we get done, and she was like talking to me and she was like, Daddy, how do you remain so calm in that? How did you not just, you know, because what wound up happening is we hit a bump, it had been raining, we hit a bump and then yeah, coming onto a bridge, going over a very deep creek. Yes, um, and and the car started uh hydroplaning. Hydroplaning, yeah. I couldn't think I was like fish tailing. No. But Kayla had said daddy was so calm, it's like he almost knew it was gonna happen. And I said, Well, he did. He felt it, so he'd already been trained. And that's where I was gonna go. Evoc training. Right. One of the things you do is is they call it a sneaky break, and you're just driving on this on this plane, you know, on this, on this course, and there's giant sprinklers all over, and and so it's sopping wet. And at any point, someone who is not in the car with you can pick a brake um, you know, from a computer, from a tablet, they pick a brake and they push it and it locks that brake. So it puts you into this kit, into a hydro. Yeah, so you know what to do. And I go, and without that training, without going through that, I think that accident goes. And honestly, by by a split second uh with the decision you made, it caused we turned into an it hit the side of the car and split up. But you missed a semi by doing that, right? An 18-wheeler was coming behind us, and I mean it was you could almost feel them how fast they were going behind us. Um and I mean, honestly, Josh kept his cool and it was it was really neat. And I mean, we had some bumps and some bruises and stuff like that. I mean the kids got to see in real life what it looks like when you're prepared, you know. Even lifting weights. Like people have joked with me that, oh, y'all, you want to lift and be like a man. No, I want to know that if if there's a situation Who has told you that? There are people that have said some mean things to me about the weight that I lift. Not me. Not you. I want to do that. You'll never be as strong as me. Never. And I'm I'm pretty strong. But there I want to know if there's an emergency, I can drag you or the kids out of the house. Or like that's my mindset when I I'm lifting. Can I, you know, because I was really, really, really weak years and years ago, I could even lift a five-pound weight. It it hurt. Right. So now I go, all right, I'm digging my heels into the ground. I can drag them out one by one if I need to. And but I go, but it all comes back to being prepared. Prepared, right. And that that's why we're doing this episode at the first of the year. Because right now, um, this is coming out the first week of January. Um, I'm not sure on our release schedule for 2026. I'm I'm I'm thinking through a couple of things. Um, but this is coming out that first week of January. And and I'm sitting here going, you're looking down 2026. You just spent, you know, that week between Christmas and New Year's, especially New Year's Eve. You just spent sitting here going, here's all the things we want different. And one of the things I say all the time is if you want different, you have to do different. Right. So if you're gonna continue to do what you did, you'll always get what you always got. 2026 is gonna look just like 2025 for you. Whether it's losing weight or wanting to get closer to Jesus or a new job, a new job, career, a new stay. Better grades, like whatever it is. Stay doing exactly what you're doing right now, nothing is gonna change. And and that that's math, right? You know, if you're looking at functions, and I know everyone out here is like, I loved algebra. You know, but when you're looking at functions, not me. You know, when you have the function just y equals x, you know, if y never changes, x will never change. So if y is one and y equals x, then x is going to be one. If y is two, x is going to be two. Right. But until you change that input, until you change something, the output will never change. The output will never change. And your marriage and your and your job, whatever it is. And a lot of us, we live a very stress-filled life simply because we've never took the time to stop and just go, let me plan. Let me have, okay, here's where we are. Be and the more honest you can be with yourself about that, right? Stop lying to yourself and thinking you're better than what you are, or you're worse than you. Or you're worse than what you are. Yeah. And I go, but when you stop, we used to, and you know, and this is something we've been talking about for a couple of weeks now, we want to get back to. We used to take Sunday afternoons and meal prep for the whole week. You know, so I would just like smoke a bunch of chicken, and then, you know, for lunch, we would have chicken sandwiches or chicken salad or you know, chicken. Chicken tacos or whatever. For dinner, we would have, you know, chicken fajitas or chicken nachos or or chicken soup or or whatever. You know, but we would have everything planned out. And honestly, it makes the week go so much smoother.

Debbie:

So much smoother.

Josh:

Because you're not coming home and then trying to figure everything out.

Debbie:

Right.

Josh:

You know, you have this plan and and so you're saving literally hours of your day. Right. You know, that's the difference between we're in bed at 8 30 and we're in bed at 11 30. Right. Because did you plan for that? Going circling back real fast to uh my thoughts on it when it comes to even like in being in the classroom. Like I can think about kids that I worked with years ago that a situation would happen happen. I had a kid that used to jump up on the table, he would freak out and run across the table, like he didn't know how to handle stuff. And by the end of the school year, you know, I worked with him over and over, and he would freak out and I'd go, hang on, hang on. What's happening? Like, what is your heart feeling? What is your mind doing? And I would have him like really process through what was happening. But by the end of the year, this was probably eight years ago, he was a whole different kid. Yeah, and to this day I still get messages from his mom going, Hey, he's still doing great. He still goes back to I remember Miss Lively told me to do this, this, this, and this. It's changing your mindset and and changing how you view things and see things and well, Romans 12, too, right? Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Right. Yep. And and what you're talking about though, it's neuroscience and the Bible coming together going, God was right. Yeah, it's the Bible being neuroscience catching up to it. That's what I'm saying. That's what I was saying. No, it wasn't. You were like a little bit of this, a little bit of that. No, absolutely not. But what you're talking about in law enforcement, you know, even in in education we have them, right? They're called standard operating procedures. Right? So when you have a standard operating procedure or a SOP, um you already know what you're going to do in the case of Rikes. You know, you already know, okay, if this happens, then this happens like you talked about earlier. Right. If when then when then I go, but we don't do these as families, and I don't know why. Right. Do it at your job. You you know what's gonna happen if this or that happens, but you're at home and your kids are in chaos and you're in chaos, and your marriage is up in flames, and you're stressed out and you're going, I can't do this anymore. And just a couple little changes here and there can completely transform your life. I uh used to do a bank in the classroom we had on the wall, they earned money because we had a store at the end of each quarter. And so they would earn money for certain things like a job. And then if they were if they were disrespectful in this way, or if they put their hands on again, this was a different classroom, if they put their hands on another kid, whatever the case might, they would cost them money. Right. So they got to see, and then by the end of the quarter, when they got to spend their money, some of them had a whole bunch of money to spend, and it was monopoly money. And then some of them were like, I only have four dollars. Well, you knew in advance what was gonna happen, so there was no shock. Right. So, I mean, the same thing, you could do the same thing at your house. But it's the same thing too, like one of the things they used to tell us all the time, you know, when we were in public school, was at progress report a report card shouldn't be the first time a family is hearing that their kid is behind.

Debbie:

Right.

Josh:

You know, there there should have been things that had led up to that, right? You know, and all that. Because what would happen is progress report would come out or a report card would come out, and now you have the I need a conference.

Debbie:

Right.

Josh:

Um but it's the same thing. Like one of the things, like we said, your standard operating procedure may be, hey, it's Sunday afternoon. Sunday is going to look like this. We're going to go like we went um last last Sunday. We um now granted it was right after Christmas and and Gabby had gotten a paddleboard for Christmas. Kayla's been paddleboarding and and so it was like, all right, you know, we're gonna have service, we're gonna eat lunch, we're gonna go to the lake and paddleboard. Paddleboard for a little bit. Um that should be a normal rhythm of your life, though, to be able to have stuff like that. You your body needs that, your brain needs that. You need there's a reason why God said six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest. So you you need rest, you need something that's going to unplug you from rest and rest should never make you feel guilty. And I know a lot of people struggle with that, just sitting and doing nothing.

Debbie:

Yes, I do.

Josh:

I know that's who I'm looking at. I'm looking right at you, going you. But that's again, that's a lie from the devil going, don't rest, keep going, keep going. Because if he can burn you out, he can't take you from Jesus, but if he can burn you out, uh-huh, you're no use to your family, you're you're no use to your spouse, your job. You're just a hot mess, hot mess express. Yeah, and and we need to be able to God didn't need to rest when he created the world, right? It wasn't that God needed the seventh day to rest. What he was doing was giving us establishing right to go, here's how it should look.

Debbie:

Right.

Josh:

And and too many times, like, and I talk to a lot of uh, especially guys that that really struggle with this and they don't understand, like there's a machismo that goes with it, and it's like you're not doing anybody any favors. You're actually hurting your family. Yes, um, because you're not taking the time to care for you and and understand there's a reason why they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first because you can help everybody else. And as a wife, I'll tell you what, you're flipping ticking your wife off by not resting. And I go. So as you look to 2026, you should have some standard operating procedures. Like it may be, hey, you know what? Sundays are gonna be family days. Right. Sundays are gonna be rest days. Because that's the other thing, like with JT, right? You know, he's 18 now. Yeah. And it's like crazy down there. When did that happen? Yeah, that's that's wild to me. You know, and it's like time does go super fast. And it doesn't wait for you. Well, and who, honestly, on their deathbed goes, I wish I was at the office more. Right. I wish I worked more. Right. You know? Nobody. No one. No. Like you're gonna sit here and you're gonna be like, I wish I would have gone fished more. Hopefully you don't do that. Hopefully you've put yourself in a position. Hopefully you took advantage of Mission Cent Outdoors. Right. Right? And went, you know, I'm gonna go fish more. I'm gonna go be outside more. I have to sneeze. Bless you. Excuse me. But I'm gonna be outside more. I'm gonna bless you. Excuse me. Sorry. You ready? It's so cold in here. That's why I'm wearing a sweater. I'm gonna be outside more. I'm gonna rest more. I'm gonna, you know. But see, and and I'm doing it right now, and this is this is honestly where we get into trouble. I'm gonna rest more. What's that mean? Right. It's easy to say, but you have to actually put the You have to have a specific plan to it. Put them in black and white, write them down, put a make it a notebook. Um, even as husband and wife, look I mean, our notes. Your top three threats, be on the lookout for what is coming at you guys. Is it busyness? Is it your debt? Is it a bad influence? Um, if it's debt, sit down together and go through your bills and go through your what's coming in, what's going out, and where you can make changes. Um if you're super busy, stop being that busy. Right. You can cut some things out, and that might be telling people around you, hey, no, we can't do that this weekend. There are times and and I know you had a hard time with it years ago. I still do. But I mean, it was bad years ago, where I mean you would run yourself ragged and then you'd be home to rest, and then somebody, something would happen, and you'd be, I gotta go, I gotta go. And that that wasn't helpful to anybody. If it's a bad influence in your marriage, a family friend or um a family member, sometimes you have to stay away from them. Is it something you're doing extracurricular-wise that you shouldn't be doing? Or something you need to start doing. Right. That's why I brought up Mission Set Outdoors because like, and and we've done other episodes about this, and and there'll be more this year. But research studies show that people who spend more time outside are generally less depressed, less anxious, less all of the things because you've taken the time now to be proactive and go, hey, I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna shut the rest of the world down. I went out fishing Monday, and and it was a big thing at the house. JT didn't want to go. Um completely separate episode on that. It was Sunday night, and I knew I was going out Monday morning, so it was too late for me to text anybody and go, hey, like, do you want to go? Right. So I was like, hey, I'm going. Like it's been weeks since I've been on the water outside of the keys, but it's been weeks since I've been on the water, and and I need this. I have to go do this. Like, and and I went out and you know, I got on the water at like 7 30. I got home by like two 1 32, somewhere in there. But um And I and I did one of the you know how many words I said that day? Not many? Like I'm I'm losing sound. You're fine. I can't hear myself. I said a handful of words, and that was only because I was recording the trip. Right. So I'm like, you had to speak, right. Right. And I go, and that recharge that comes from that. Like it wasn't even a good day. I caught one fish. But I want to encourage spouses too. If your spouse has something that decompresses them, encourage them. Like I've had people make comments about you don't get upset that Josh goes fishing. No, he is a better human being when he goes fishing. Please. I I'm like, please, for the love of God, go fishing. Go, go, go, go, go. Like, it doesn't bother me, it doesn't make me mad. He needs that and it resets him. And then because he is a leader in our home, he actually resets the whole family. Right. Because men set the temperature in their home. They're supposed to. Right. Um, so if his temperature is off, everybody's gonna be off. So as you're looking at 2026, and I'm gonna go ahead and wrap this up because you know we like to stay in that shorter, you know, time frame. Not saying all episodes, I'm I'm telling you, I got some episodes this year that'll that'll probably probably run over that. But especially if some of these people that we reached out to want to do some interviews. Um, but the biggest thing is is you're you're looking down 2026 right now, and I get it, you already made your resolutions. Understand that 80% of all resolutions will fail by January 31st. So I'm not talking about resolutions, but I'm sitting here going, sit down by yourself, sit down with your spouse, sit down as a family, and write down, put in black and white. These are gonna be our standard operating procedures this year. These are the things that steal our joy. We're gonna be on the lookout for these things and we're gonna focus on these things. And I go, but you gotta do something different. If you want different, you gotta do different. And and so until two weeks, you know, because we bi weekly here, until the next episode, that's the homework. Sit down with your spouse, sit down as a family, sit down by yourself if you're single, and and literally write down, this is what I'm doing different. Right. And then put it somewhere you're going to see it. And where other people can see it. Your spouse. Well, and not just that, but have some accountability partners in your life. Have some people that you can sit down with and go, like, hey, this is how I want, you know, I have people reach out to me a lot, you know, and hey, can you pray with me about this? You know, I'm trying to change this. Hey, the devil's coming at me right now. Can you, can you, you know, stand with me on this? You know, and have some people in your life like that. You know, and granted, that's a a different podcast. Oh, it's another episode, right? But for this podcast, sit down, even if it's only three things and go, these are the three things we're gonna be proactive with this year. These are the three things we're gonna do different this year. You know, these are the three things. Maybe it's hey, these are the three vacations we're gonna take. Whatever it is that you need to to look at and and do different in your life, do it with your spouse, do it by yourself, do it with your family, right? And then put it somewhere where you're gonna see it so you can be reminded of it. Right. Don't just like shove it in a drawer somewhere, you know, like hang it on the fridge, hang it, you know, by the door, you know, in your bedroom where you can you'll see it every morning when you walk out, right? And and constantly be reminding yourself, hey, no, this is what we're gonna do, this is what we're gonna do. So until next episode, you can always follow us on Facebook at Mission Scent, um, and on YouTube at Mission Scent. Um we hope you guys had a wonderful and safe New Year's. I hope you're ready for 2026. Yep don't forget to share this episode with someone that you think would benefit from it. And we love you. We thank you. We can't do this without you. You guys have a good night. Bye.

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Debbie

Host
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Josh

Host