Who Needs a Break? Do Lovers really need a Holiday?

In a world where every relationship seems to be constantly tested by daily stressors, the question arises: do lovers really need a holiday away from each other? This episode navigates the fine line between healthy time apart and necessary intimacy, encouraging couples to consider whether escaping together or apart will truly enhance their bond. We discuss the stresses that marriages can endure and how couples can sometimes feel the temptation to take a break, questioning if distance truly makes the heart grow fonder.

As we dive deeper into this compelling topic, we explore personal experiences and the lessons learned over years of partnership. From the highs of shared activities like family outings to the struggles faced amidst life's overwhelming moments, we dissect the truth behind the myth of needing personal space. We offer insights on how communication and shared moments can serve as the antidote to feelings of isolation often brought about by life’s demands. 

Listeners are left with a powerful reflection on the importance of intentional intimacy. By taking a step back to assess the underlying reasons for wanting separation and nurturing shared experiences instead, couples can foster a resilient relationship capable of withstanding the pressures of modern life. Don’t miss out on this essential conversation—tune in to gain valuable perspectives on strengthening your loving bond. If you find this episode helpful, remember to subscribe, share, and leave us a review!

https://www.missionsent.org/

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

I don't have headphones on so I can hear you. Oh, you look very handsome in that shirt A little too handsome.

Speaker 2 0:12

All right. On this week's episode we are tackling a tough question of do lovers need a holiday? Do you need to take time to separate from your spouse? Do you need alone time? Should you take time? Should you do vacation? Should you get away? And then throughout the podcast, we talk about this in a couple of different ways and we get into the stresses of being married and some of the things to overcome some of those stresses, and then we end with the actual answer to if lovers need a holiday and what that should look like in our marriages. So, with no further ado, let's jump into this episode. Hello and welcome to another episode of Faith, Family and Fishing. Let's make some stronger families. So let's get at it, let's go, All right. So I know you don't usually know what we're going to talk about until you come in Nope, which always gives me a little anxiety, a little agita, a little agita, which is good in most situations.

Speaker 2 1:27

Today we are going to be answering, depending on your age, either the question in a Chicago song or as yet. As yet, do lovers need a holiday? I like it so and again depending on your age, it's either gonna be Chicago or Agit. Hard to say, I'm sorry, is the song, but like I know it from Agit. I remember from Chicago you're a Chicago fan, so just showing the age discrepancies there but I'm a little older. It was one of those things that, to me, doesn't make sense. Right, we've been together.

Speaker 1 2:13

25 years, 25 years, oh wow.

Speaker 2 2:16

Yeah, like we just hit 25 this year Um married 20 of those almost 21, almost 21. Um, so it's the same right everyone. When you first get together, like I remember the late nights, the you know we would hang out all day, see each other, you know go to dinner go to the movies, go bowling, whatever you know, hang out until the wee hours of the morning, get home, and then it was calling and then talking. And that's everyone right? They? Call it puppy dog love.

Speaker 1 2:53

Yes.

Speaker 2 2:53

Right, you know where, which I don't understand where that term comes from.

Speaker 1 2:56

I don't know. It's weird, now that you think about it, to say puppy, dog, love.

Speaker 2 3:00

It's like Like how I love a puppy dog, right, because that doesn't make sense. I don't know where that comes from, but anyway, and that's, that's pretty normal, right? For guys, you know, it's, oh, you're whooped, you know, I don't, I don't know, I think it's just normal. For girls, I don't think it's derogatory if your boyfriend wants to spend a lot of time with you, it's a path.

Speaker 1 3:22

On the contrary.

Speaker 2 3:24

But anyway, and then I don't know, I don't. We, like I said, we've been together a very, very long time. I've never really gotten out of that phase.

Speaker 1 3:36

Right.

Speaker 2 3:36

Because I mean it's pretty normal for us to Spend all day. I mean we've worked together for the past.

Speaker 1 3:42

How long have we worked together? Six, seven years.

Speaker 2 3:43

Yeah, Like six or seven years. I mean with just me and you for the past two now, um, you know well, almost two, Um, and even though this year, yeah, we added extra people at work.

Speaker 1 3:59

We still work together.

Speaker 2 4:00

Yeah, we are literally together all day, every day. Um, and then it's really normal for us to get home and as soon as we get home, put our stuff down and we go into the bedroom.

Speaker 1 4:13

And for all of you that thought that was going somewhere else shame we decompress we talk josh, and then josh will watch a youtube video and I will take a cat nap.

Speaker 2 4:23

Yeah, normally you know you go to sleep for a minute and then you know, I kind of just thumb through the old tube.

Speaker 1 4:31

Learn how to make new barbecue meals.

Speaker 2 4:33

Or fishing.

Speaker 1 4:34

Or fishing.

Speaker 2 4:36

Big shout out to Salt Strong there. A lot of good videos there, but and then we talk and then you know we get on with our night and then Right, we have dinner together, yeah. I mean, and so for me and you, spending that much of time is normal, it's pretty normal. So for me, when I hear a line like that and I go even lovers need a holiday far away from each other.

Speaker 1 5:00

You know, is that how it goes?

Speaker 2 5:02

I thought it was from the ones that they love. Everybody needs a little time away. Each other, you know, is that how it goes? I?

Speaker 1 5:04

thought it was from the ones that they love. Everybody needs a little time away. I heard her say from each other. Even lovers need a holiday just for a day from each other.

Speaker 2 5:14

Anyway, I thought it was far from the ones they love. Anyway, I go and, and yes, throughout, I mean, I was in the military, so you know, and then when I was a cop, we didn't see each other a whole lot either, right, um, we visited pretty much, um, which is why there's such a high divorce rate, if you ask me with police officers.

Speaker 2 5:30

Yeah, I mean last time I looked it was, you know, 75 right in the first five years, or something like that because you, you really don't get to spend a lot of time together start disconnecting and unknowing each other yeah, and and I think that's part there's a book I forget who wrote it. It's called Date your Wife and I would recommend it because it is normal. Right, it's normal, but when we were dating, I was in really good shape.

Speaker 1 6:01

You still are baby? Yes, for my age.

Speaker 2 6:07

I'm man enough to admit that now. Um, we've just rounded out the corners, wow, okay, um, but anyway, you know we were younger and you know that's what you did, right, you, you got in really good shape and you know, you, you tried to impress, you were always on the best behavior, you were always like opening doors, dot your i's cross your t's and then you get married and I don't I don't know if it's like okay, I won, so now I can just kind of relax, right.

Speaker 2 6:38

I don't know if that's what it is, but I would think it is. You know, I got prize, like you're not going anywhere now. Right, you know and I know today's modern marriages may not work like that, but in theory, in theory, you know that that's that's how it goes, and so you can be a little more lazy, you get a little more relaxed and you really do stop dating each other, you know.

Speaker 2 7:06

And then you add, you know other stressors into that, your job, you know kids, kids, and you know time you know, well, and then even if you went back and listen to the last episode, you know you start adding in like sports and stuff like that. Time becomes very, very, very limited, right, and and it's easy at that point to to start like like drifting apart, not even intentionally Right. You know, you kind of got your things and I got my things and and I think and they stopped being our things.

Speaker 1 7:35

And I think sometimes when there's a little too much time spent apart a little too much. Um, you start to notice all the things that may not necessarily be your favorite thing about that person. You can start seeing things that maybe aren't necessarily there, but little things that aren't a huge deal all the time. That time apart kind of opens the door to noticing little things that frustrate you.

Speaker 2 8:03

I mean I can see what you mean and I do agree with the noticing things that frustrate you. I mean I can see what you mean and I do agree with the noticing things that frustrate you, but for me it wasn't so much that I was like I don't know, maybe it was but like when you do take that break, it's a lot easier to get into your own rhythms. And then it just becomes like well, why are you trying to get into my stuff?

Speaker 1 8:26

kind of like when you stop being a cop and then you jumped right back into how everything was and I was like, um no yeah, like I have a routine, I have a schedule. You don't just get to come in and because I wasn't open to, okay, great, everything's the way it was before right, but that's my other issue with all of this right like marriage is never 50 50 no, uh-uh like there have been times where you have given 90.

Speaker 2 8:53

I mean, if we're honest, there's probably been times you've given 100 150, you know, and vice versa. Yeah, you know and and I go but thankfully never at the same time no, you would want it at the same time if we were both given 100 at the same time.

Speaker 1 9:09

I'm thinking the 10 that would be really good. It would be really good um I need some more coffee, but.

Speaker 2 9:17

But marriage is never 50 50 like that. You know it's never. You know it just isn't. You know it just isn't. You know it just. That's not how it works.

Speaker 1 9:26

Sometimes you're picking up the slack for that other person. But, that goes back to are you have you two become one where you're going? All right, this is I'm picking up the slack, but this is me Like. This is you know? We are for each other.

Speaker 2 9:42

Well, and depending on how you look at marriage, it wouldn't be slack right like when I say slack, like when you can't, I can't, yeah, no, that's what I mean slack. No, slack was the right word. But what I was saying is like again, if you look at it through the the right perspective, I don't look at it like in those moments and go I'm picking, picking up her slack, right. I look at it and go, I'm doing for her.

Speaker 1 10:06

Right.

Speaker 2 10:06

For better or worse. You know we're really good with the for better part. It's the for worse we have a hard time with Because so many people look at it contractually Right, Like I'm here as long as.

Speaker 1 10:20

It works for me.

Speaker 2 10:21

Right.

Speaker 1 10:22

And you know we've talked about it a lot.

Speaker 2 10:24

And I'll be honest, our marriage hasn't always worked for you.

Speaker 1 10:27

No, right, you know, has it always worked for you.

Speaker 2 10:35

I just think from the I just think from the get go. I just had a different perspective.

Speaker 1 10:41

Yeah, an outlook on it? Yeah, like.

Speaker 2 10:42

I, you know, I just think individually, just who I am as a person it was just a little more easy for me to to not look at it as a contractual thing, but to look at it and go no. Like when I took my vows, I meant it right, I mean, and not that yeah I heard that after it came out, it it just I don't know. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to it's hard because I'm trying to think like the nicest. I just think. I don't think I'm as I'm waiting.

Speaker 2 11:18

I don't think I'm as selfish, just naturally.

Speaker 1 11:22

Right.

Speaker 2 11:23

You know, I know we're all selfish to a certain extent um, like everybody, but oh yeah, I'm, I'm that runner I just think it was easier for me because of you know, I just I grew up in a totally different way than you so, for when it came to marriage in in specifically, yeah, you know it, to me it wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't looking.

Speaker 2 11:46

I've never looked at it in the times where it's been harder for me and went like, oh, I, you know, I, I've always looked at it and went we, you know, have an issue, we have a problem and, and for me and I know it's been aggravating for you at times, um, but for me it it then turns and it flips and I, I become obsessive and I go you know, we need to talk about this, we need to talk about that, we like, we need to like and I think, like for me, and then you get overwhelmed, I get overwhelmed and then I start going.

Speaker 1 12:17

I don't feel safe emotionally and I know you like that word. Well, yes, um, so, because how does that paint me, when you're?

Speaker 2 12:25

sitting here going. I don't feel I know that like that word. Well, yes, um so because how does that paint me when you're sitting here going? I don't feel I know that didn't sound right.

Exploring the Concept of Holidays in Love

Speaker 1 12:29

Um, I just, I completely start bottling up and then I start shutting down and I'm like nope, nope, nope. And then I'm like I'm gonna take my ball and I'm not gonna play here anymore. Um, I'm gonna leave I'm gonna leave, um, not literally, but like just completely shut down emotionally. We've had ups and downs. I've never left.

Speaker 2 12:51

We've had ups and downs. We have had ups and downs.

Speaker 1 12:53

And that's why and it's funny, because funny but like people will say things like oh, you guys are a great couple, you guys you know all these great things, which thank you, but you know, they haven't been there at the four o'clock in the morning where we haven't slept for 28 hours and we're talking and we're, you know, working through stuff and you know, thank God for you. Always, like now we're pushing through this and I'm like, for the love of Jesus, just can we sleep Well even going back to again last week, right, when we were talking about sports.

Speaker 2 13:21

that is one thing you do learn in sports, right, right, you, you really do learn, okay we've got to figure it out in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 2 13:28

Like you got to find that something extra to push in which how you grew up was totally different, like I didn't grow up doing sports, so I was like um and and you know what, now that I think about it, that's another benefit of sports too, right, like for me, it was normal to be part of a team, right? I mean, yes, I did individual sports like weightlifting and track, but you know my heart, my passion, was always team sports right.

Speaker 1 13:49

You know, with football, even like sharing successes, like you're, you're like that the successes are exciting for you. Where me, I'm like something successful happens and I'm like it's the expected. I'm like okay, so something happened but that.

Speaker 2 14:01

But you know, this is all on a detour, because the real question is do lovers need a holiday, and I remember you came up to me years ago years ago at this point, and you were like, hey, I'm going to go to the beach for the weekend. And like I was like with who you know, because we didn't make plans Right, and you were like, oh no, I'm going to go by myself. And I was like, no, I was like no. I was like who are you cheating on me with?

Speaker 1 14:25

Right, yep, yep, and I was like what?

Speaker 2 14:28

No one just goes to the beach by themselves. Where I was, like.

Speaker 1 14:31

I feel like my brain's going to explode, I'm on overload and I just need to decompress. And you know you were like we can go to the beach and we can go like figure.

Speaker 2 14:40

I did think it was extremely weird, because it's just weird.

Speaker 1 14:48

No one does that by themselves, but just a little little information about me. Like I can go sit at a coffee shop by myself and sit there and talk.

Speaker 2 14:55

Well, you used to take those like day trips down to Tampa. Yeah, you know, by yourself Go walk around Hyde Park and yeah just go hang out.

Speaker 1 15:03

I didn't mind that. I was by myself a lot when I was younger, so it being by myself didn't bother me where you were. Like we're married. This is not normal.

Speaker 2 15:14

You don't just get up and go for the weekend um, so for me and, and I'm glad you said, for the weekend, because, like, I don't view this as like, okay, I went to work, so you know, in in granite, our situation is different.

Speaker 1 15:29

But, like, even when we didn't work together, you know I didn't go well, I went to work, so we had a break, right, like you know and you know me well enough where, like the other day, I was super stressed out, where, you know, you took all the kids home and you were like just drive, drive right home by yourself right that way. That way you can. You know you knew I needed that, were that. You know you don't need stuff like that. That's not something you.

Speaker 2 15:52

No, I don't look for, and that's why. So when it came to the song, I went like you know, do lovers need a holiday? I mean, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 16:01

No, and the older I've gotten, the longer we've been together. I go no, not necessarily. You don't need a holiday. I mean I might need five minutes to be left alone.

Speaker 2 16:09

Well, think about it. I mean, we know people who. It's like oh, it's a girls, you know girls weekend.

Speaker 1 16:13

Right.

Speaker 2 16:14

You know, and again, to each on her own, Like I don't think those things are necessarily bad. You, I've gone on girls weekends and retreats and stuff.

Speaker 1 16:28

I've gone camping and hunting with the guys or fishing, but I don't need it to get away from you, right. And I think that's where you have to be careful where you're going. I'm doing this to get away from my husband. Now. I'm not talking about safety and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 16:42

Yeah, no, no, no. If it's a physical or mental thing? Yeah, of there. Yeah, that's different, but I go.

Speaker 1 16:48

That's not a holiday, though, that's an escape if you need a, if you need a break because there's something going on in your marriage, you need to press into that and work that out. I'm not saying you don't talk to other people, but you need to work, seek counsel you need to work through that with your spouse, because you can't work on a problem with someone that's not there.

Speaker 2 17:09

And I'm glad you said with a spouse, because, like in all the marriage counseling I do, um, guys, I'll just go ahead and lay it out to you. 85% of the time, 90% of the time it's the wife went we need counseling and presented it as an ultimatum Either you come to counseling with me or I'm filing for divorce. Number one um, the first session we're going to get into. When that comes up, I'm going to go ahead and tell you if that's our attitude towards this. It's probably not going to work out the way you think it's going to right um, because you can't force people to do anything they don't want to do right

The Need for Alone Time: Is It Essential?

Speaker 2 17:50

understand, even if someone puts a gun to your head and goes, give me your wallet, you're still choosing to give them your wallet. Right, like there is no such thing as forcing someone. Now you may go, hey, this is the best choice, um, you know, and giving up your wallet in in that scenario, but you're still choosing to do that, right, you know, some people would choose to fight back, you know, and it's not that they sit here and go, hey, you know, my life is worth whatever's in my wallet because, let's be honest, I mean most of your cards you can cancel, like, you can get replacement IDs, you know. Know, most of us don't carry a ton of cash with us, right, but what you're saying is is, I'm not going to give you the right to take my stuff, it's really what you're driving at, but again it's.

Speaker 2 18:37

You get into those situations where one it is your problem. It is. Is it a couple problem? It is. I've never, ever, ever, in any counseling I've ever done where it's been solely one person's issue outside of, like, you know, an abuse situation. You know something like that. Um, but I'm talking about just like regular couple stuff. Yeah, it's never just been one person no, it's always a two-part thing um and two.

Speaker 2 19:03

It's usually something that's been festering for for a while. It's not right. It wasn't just like over the past week. I don't know where this came, which, and this will be a whole, nother podcast you know, leads into that whole you know, falling.

Speaker 2 19:15

Oh well, I just found I just fell out of love and it's like no, no, it's impossible to do that, because love isn't what you feel, it's what you do. Um, you know, and so really, just what you're saying is I don't, I no longer want to I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1 19:28

Right, which sometimes, yeah, that does happen. You just go, I, people just go. I don't want to do this anymore and this is exhausting.

Speaker 2 19:35

We've done that, as you know, as a married couple just went. Hey, like this isn't worth it for me right now. I don't want to talk about this right now. I don't want to deal with this right now right you know, kind of the whole.

Speaker 2 19:46

I'm not ready to not be mad right kind of thing, you know, and I go so. So again, like when we're sitting here and we're, you know, looking down and going to hey, how are we going to get the distance out of this? You know, how are we going to do this? One woman, one one, uh, one woman, one man, one life. You know thing, you, it has to start from a place of do you need a holiday? No Right, you're an athlete, you don't take a day off, right, right, like you, push through, you work, you, you do whatever is needed, because that's what's going to edge you out from someone else, um, when you're just dating you didn't take a day off, right?

Speaker 1 20:27

No phone it. You actually worked extra hard to spend that time together.

Speaker 2 20:28

You know you changed who you were. You took showers regularly. Yeah, you know you. You took her to olive garden because you thought that was the fanciest restaurant you've ever heard of. Maybe that was sweet not realizing that was a normal sunday dinner for her, um, but you grew up in a different socioeconomic oh but anyway um you do all of those things when you're dating, you know, and and that's what I mean you then we get married and it's like if you make me sick, but see, and people don't understand that's the point of dating to see are we going to be compatible right as a couple?

Speaker 2 21:06

the point of dating is not to have fun, it's not to get your freak on it's not to impress each other.

Speaker 1 21:11

Yeah, it's none of that it's. Could I see myself spending the rest of my life with you?

Speaker 2 21:16

right, you know, and, and so the better you do that, the easier you're going to have it when you get married. And and that's one of the things like you know, when people are talking to us and you know, and they're like you know what's the secret I go there really is I married my best friend.

Speaker 2 21:30

I married a woman that I enjoyed spending time with, that I could sit and laugh with, but I could also sit a lot, but I could also sit and have a serious conversation with, and I can also sit and go hey, we could weather the storms together. And and I married someone who- and we trust each other. And that's what I was going to say. Who I know is a ride or die, you know, is going to be here in the good times and the bad. Um because it's not a matter of if you're going to have bad times.

Speaker 1 21:57

Oh, it's coming, it's when. Yeah.

Speaker 2 22:00

Yeah, and and honestly, there, there were plenty of years where years were bad years. It wasn't just when I say bad years, I don't mean necessarily as a couple, just external circumstances and what we had to deal with.

Speaker 1 22:12

Even looking back at, we used to write each other letters every anniversary, and it started when we first got married. The pastor that was counseling us for premarital counseling had said hey, write each other a letter on why you love each other, Don't?

Speaker 2 22:27

Oh no, why you want to be married. Why do you want to be married? You weren't allowed to use the word I love.

Speaker 1 22:34

Yeah, you weren't allowed to use the word I love you because I love them. So we did that for about 15 years. We haven't done that in a long time.

Speaker 2 22:41

No, actually I just found some in. Yeah, if I can find them again. I forget what folder it was, but over the years.

Speaker 1 22:52

we read through them a few years ago and I just remember going oh my gosh, this was a crappy year. Oh, read this one. This was a terrible year because as the years progressed and life really started to happen, you could see the strain that the external circumstances was putting on us. But it helped keep things into perspective.

Speaker 2 23:16

And the other thing you just hit on when you were like oh, can I read through them? Is that's the other thing. Like you have open access to everything, you have all my passwords. Like there is nothing. Like I was watching some show the other day and they were talking about oh I, the one line I would never cross is I would never sneak into my spouse's phone. It was a comedy, it's not sneaking, but I went. I have no problem picking up your phone and reading through the messages. Do I do it a lot?

Speaker 1 23:43

No, I barely get you to read your own messages on your phone.

Speaker 2 23:48

But I wouldn't have a problem knowing it either If you came in. Let's say you got out of the shower or whatever, and I'm in the room.

Speaker 1 23:53

Yeah, I picked up your phone and, like flung you know, flip through it just looking for something I never even had to worry about. Oh my gosh, is he going to get upset because I'm looking at his phone? It's an invasion of privacy? No, it's not. I don't have privacy, Right.

Speaker 2 24:04

Because if I truly believe the Bible and I truly believe that we are one flesh, you have your things and I have mine right how do we not just have our correct?

Speaker 1 24:13

things. You can't be a couple, and a healthy couple, if you're keeping things from each other and you're not combining all the things. They all have to be together right you know and I I do know couples that you know unfortunately the wife keeps stuff from the husband and then like it just turns into this big, like chaotic game, or the other way around. Well, I'm just talking about, like you know it could be either, though yeah, it could be either, and I go.

Speaker 1 24:37

It impacts the kids, it impacts the relationship you have with people around you and well, and it's the opposite of what you've been called to.

Speaker 2 24:45

Right, right, like I mean we. You know, when we read through scripture. You see, you are meant to be known right you are meant to know and be known like that.

Speaker 1 24:55

That is our greatest thing you know we are meant to be known right.

Weighing the Pros and Cons of Couples’ Getaways

Speaker 2 24:56

You are meant to know and be known like that. That is our greatest thing, you know. We are meant to be in community, right, like no one is meant to be just by themselves right and I go and, and how much more intimate and how much more open and known can you be, right then, sitting here and going hey, like you completely have everything all access and so I do look at it and I go okay, do they need? Do you know, do lovers need a holiday far away from each other?

Speaker 1 25:25

again, I'm not saying, don't go on trips like if I got to hang out with right like if I got invited to go like let's just say down to like I don't know costa rica or wherever to go.

Speaker 2 25:33

You know fish for tarpon. Right, like I don't know Costa Rica or wherever to go, you know fish for tarpon. Right, have fun, it's going to be like a two, three day trip to go. Try to get a world record tarpon or something like that.

Speaker 1 25:43

That's different.

Speaker 2 25:44

No, I, you know I would like. I don't look at that as a holiday, I look at that as I get to go do something that I wanted to go do right you know if you got the opportunity to go I don't know you know up to new york or whatever to see some play or something like that. You know and and went hey, do you want to?

Speaker 1 26:02

no, I don't want to go to new york right for many different reasons right um but I would go, and you know right, but again I don't look at it, I'm not going I'm taking away from you I'm going oh, I get to go do this fun thing, Now, I think a lot of times when you think you need a holiday away from you know, your spouse, uh, your husband, your wife, I think sometimes what you actually need to do is get away from everybody and everything else around you with each other, and go spend time with each other.

Speaker 2 26:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 26:30

And sometimes you take a break from talking about the problems and you just go to the beach, go have fun, go hang out, go play pool go bowling go fishing, go swim in the ocean like go do the fun thing.

Speaker 2 26:45

I'm just saying you giggle Right. We went out last weekend, you know, and went shrimping and, like you know, again, how many shrimp did we get? 611. We got three and a half gallons, and if we would have stayed longer, I had to wake up the next morning to preach, so I didn't want to stay till the end of the tide. We would have definitely limited out at our five gallons within another hour, right, but I was like, no, we got to get, even got to give some to the neighbors.

Speaker 2 27:15

Love it. That was so exciting, but I go again.

Speaker 1 27:19

But go do something fun that is not surrounded by the stress that you're currently going through Like you don't need a holiday Like fishing.

Speaker 2 27:27

Thank you for finally admitting that it is in the podcast name. It is in the podcast.

Speaker 1 27:32

You don't need a break from each other, you just need a break. And sometimes, you know, I told Josh a couple weeks ago, maybe I don't even know time, all kind of runs together. I said I feel like my, you know my.

Speaker 2 27:44

Cuss word Language.

Stresses of Marriage and Finding Solutions

Speaker 1 27:49

Now I have to mark explicit on this podcast, like a full cup of water and anything else, one more drop and I'm just going to spill over, like I'm completely Like a teapot, like just like I played Short, short and stout Inside joke, just saying Kayla did say she thought I was probably the cutest little teapot ever. Be our guest, be our guest. Oh, dang it. Josh, josh. What was he gonna say?

Speaker 2 28:17

you're like a cup. Your cup runneth over in a bad way.

Speaker 1 28:21

Yes, and I just. I needed a break and and we went shrimping we went fishing. We did. That's the other thing. I caught a catfish in a net on accident, because no, no, no, I accidentally got it stuck.

Speaker 2 28:36

I didn't know it was gonna get stuck yeah, because that that turned out that was terrible.

Speaker 1 28:39

Yeah, don't ever do that.

Speaker 2 28:41

Don't take a shrimp net and try to catch a catfish now and, that being said, like there's a reason why I keep going fish, fish, fish get outside seriously go on a trail because again yeah you're out in the woods, you're on the water, like your problems are a million turn off your phone.

Speaker 1 28:57

Tell people to put it on, do not disturb no, you're right, turn it off well, I just think of the kids, like you know.

Speaker 2 29:04

Okay, turn it off if your kids are that little that they can't take care of themselves, you shouldn't leave you should probably bring them with you or at least get a babysitter. Yeah, but like in our case, our kids aren't that big, they can take care of themselves, that's true, so do lovers need a holiday.

Speaker 1 29:24

The answer is the answer is no. No, they don't Not from each other.

Speaker 2 29:28

I'm not saying don't get away, I'm not saying don't enjoy things and I'm not saying there aren't things you'll enjoy separately.

Speaker 1 29:34

And not even saying if you're in a frustrating situation, you don't go. I need like an hour 30 minutes to that's not a holiday, though. That's not a holiday, like, oh, that's not what we're saying. We're saying you don't need to pack it up and hike out to get you know what going.

Speaker 2 29:55

I have to get away from my spouse. There's deeper rooted issues you need.

Speaker 1 29:56

Yeah, that should be a red flag for you to go. Hey, um, we need to have some deeper conversations yeah, there's something else going on.

Speaker 2 30:00

Maybe bring in somebody else.

Speaker 1 30:01

Go talk to your pastor that you you know go talk to a trusted friend you know.

Speaker 2 30:06

Go talk to someone who's been married longer than you, happier than you, you know um don't talk to somebody who don't talk to your single friend. There's a reason why they will give you bad advice. Yep, because they don't talk to somebody who don't talk to your single friend there's a reason why they will give you bad advice.

Speaker 1 30:16

Yep, because they don't know what it's like to be in your situation.

Speaker 2 30:20

Even if they mean well like, they have no idea right and I can make a lot of jokes right here. But there may be single people listening. I don't want to offend you, even if it's accidental on a joke, um, but no, I don't. I don't think they need a holiday no so if that's you and you're in trouble, reach out. Yep, you need someone to counsel with you. I you know we can do that um other than that, until we talk next time. We love you guys love you guys.

Speaker 1 30:50

Have a good day or night.